Kyle kills Butters
by daverezi
Summary: I don't hate Butters, okay? This was just a request from a friend. Again, don't take it seriously. Implied Style. :P


Once upon a time, Kyle Broflovski was born out of his mommy's vagina! ...Wait, no. That's not right. It was his dad's. Wait, no, maybe it was his brother's. Ah, well, who cares - it's not what we're talking about. Let's start over --

Once upon a time, Kyle went psycho. Yeah, psycho - you know those people from horror movies that want to kill off everyone just because something happened in their past and now they've come for revenge? That kind of psycho.

Why he was a psycho was a mystery. Like the mystery of who mysterion is... even though we all know it's Stan. Some people say he went psycho because he didn't have any friends on facebook. Others said it was because his boyfriend/super best friend decided that being popular was way more important then being gay with Kyle. Either way, the jew was as psycho as a baby on crack.

Or maybe his mom's psychotic genes rubbed off on him. You know, if that was possible. But this is fiction - of course it's possible!

Whatever the reason, he was a mad-as-hell son of a bitch, and not the good kind. And how he was going after a certain little innocent blonde boy who had done something to piss him off.

Cartman had told the redhead that Butters has been dating Stan for about a month now. Normally, Kyle wouldn't believe any of the fat boy's bullshit, but when he had caught the two of them hanging out by the school's parking lot, making out like hungry hobos trying to fight over a subway sandwich that had been in the garbage for over a week, his temper and jealously flared.

Butters was going to pay.

Stan was suppose to be his! I mean, they're like super BFFs; that means they MUST be gay for each other! He wasn't suppose to be Butters'! Oh you could see his anger rising just from the thought of the other being with his man. It was like an unstoppable force. Like... when Craig's dick was hard. Cause Craig wouldn't stop until Tweek was down on his knees and giving him head while doing that thing with his--

MOVING ON...

Kyle was walking down the street on his mery little way to pay Butters a little "visit". He carried one of those rubber swords that they had in that one pirate movie. Remember it? Every girl was said that one guy was hot...

He knocked on the door violently with the rubber sword. The blonde boy came to the door moments later, panting slightly and all red in the face. Whoa, what the hell?

"Oh, hiya Kyle!" He said happily, waving and trying to compose himself as much as possible, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

The jew narrowed his eyes, "What the fuck? What do you mean what am I doing here!? You know goddamn well I'm here to beat the living shit out of you!"

"WHAT!?"

"Raaaahhhh!!!" He made a battle cry, letting out all his jewish anger out on Butters, beating the living shit out of the blonde. ...Wait, shit lives? Nevermind; that really doesn't matter.

The blonde cried, watching as blood spilled out of random body-parts. Black and blue bruises formed on his body. Who knew rubber could hurt so much?

Soon, he was dead, even though he shouldn't be. Pfft, pussy.

"Oh my God! You killed Butters!" Stan said, randomly appearing from out of the dead blonde's bedroom.

Kyle started to tear up, "So it was true!"

"You've been fucking Butters! Fatass was right! ...B-b-but I didn't want to believe it." Tears started to run down his beautiful face.

"Whoa, Ky. Just... whoa. I'm not fucking Butters." Stan said calmly.

"Then why was he so flustered!?" He snapped.

"Because Kenny's here, dude. He was teasing him to death. I've been trying to hook them up."

"W-why?" He asked sadly, still not believing it.

Then, all of a sudden, God appeared. Erm, I mean Kenny appeared. Well, he does come back to life all the time after he dies. So, technically, he is God. So, yeah. God appeared.. and he stands there in only his boxers with the cute little blue kitties from that one cat movie. It was a Disney movie, so shut up. "Dude," God-- I mean, Kenny, states, "Are we gunna continue Strip Monopoly or not? I really wanna fuck Butters already! Well, once I get him out of that girly shirt."

Kyle facepalmed. What an idiot, that jew.


End file.
